Showdown on the Runway
Kittens, do you have any idea how hard it was to write this post?
How do you make jokes about clothes that are ALREADY jokes?
It’s ironic that Nick and Santino were making fun of Marla’s “whickety whack” last week, no?
Since when does lingerie include tight pants?
Oh, what the hell are we saying? Since when does lingerie include ANY of this crap? For that matter, since when does “German” mean “make her up to look like a deer”? Not that they actually looked like deer, mind you. More like backup singers in an Adam Ant video.
And man, if we were Heidi, we’d be a hell of a lot more pissed off than Nina was. “You think THIS is my homeland? I come from Germany, Arschloch. We tend not to dress like crazy assholes there.”
Shocked as we are to admit this, we have to say that Santino’s was NOT the worst of the three looks in the collection. We hesitate to say that it’s good (mainly because it’s not), but it seemed a little more cohesive, a little more in line with the concept.
Which only proves what a horrible team leader he was because the other two designers were clearly floundering and he offered almost nothing in the way of guidance except to berate them.
Seriously, it’s so hard to critique this. All the bad parts are so self-evident that we feel dumb pointing out the obvious and all the good parts are … non-existent.
Have you ever seen three more embarrassed models? They can’t even look at the judges.
Speaking of judges…
“*snort* Nina, would you like to start things off?”
“Yeah, alright. Let me just swallow my pre-vomit.
Okay, I’m a little confused.”
Nina: “Yeah, I thought the show was only open to fashion designers. You know, people who design clothes? How did you get in? They look like melted ice cream cakes. No, let me amend that. They look like melted ice cream cakes that someone backed a truck over.”
“I’m sorry if you don’t get lingerie, Nina! I’m an artist! Who are you? You’re just some skinny bitch with too much hair! NO ONE does what I do!”
Nick: Oh please shut up. Shutupshutupshutup. This is SO not fierce for me right now.”
Nina: “I don’t get lingerie?! When was the last time YOU wore it, asswipe? On second thought, don’t answer that, I’ll start puking in my mouth again. And there’s a reason no one does what you do — IT’S FUCKING UGLY!”
Heidi: “Take it down a notch, girl. You’re scaring the producers.”
Anyway, yeah we hated it; yeah it was horrible; yeah, Nina is the shit. What else can be said? He acted like an asshole and sent some amazing pieces of shit down that runway.
Probably one of the most talked-about episodes in the show’s history.
Screw all that. Let’s embarrass Emmett!
Insert caption here.