Nina: Aesthetically Pleasing
Here is a woman who, week in and week out, sits next to another woman who is generally considered one of the most beautiful in the world and damn, the bitch holds her own. She always looks totally put together in that carefully haphazard way that good fashionistas master. She’s always got a killer set of heels on and big clunky jewelry that she somehow manages to make look elegant.
And the hair! What is it about Latin women and hair? They treat their hair like it was a second set of tits on top of their head. Something to adorn, draw attention to, play with, and drive the men crazy. You can tell Nina loves her hair. She should. It’s gorgeous. Just tame enough to be considered professional-looking and just wild enough to make people wonder what she looks like naked.
We love how seriously she takes fashion. Good fashion makes her almost orgasmic, but bad fashion actually offends her. When someone sends something particularly heinous down the runway, Nina acts like they just called her mother a puta or something. There are times when she looks like she’s ready to leap out of her chair, rip the garment off the model and stomp up and down on it. As physically imposing as Santino is, if it ever came down to a cage match between those two, we’d have to bet on the little Colombian spitfire.
She gets a lot of crap for being a bitch, but that’s just a classic example of “bitch” being defined as “smart woman with an opinion.” She knows her shit and she’s there to judge. There’s no point in being demure about it.
On our way to Emmett’s last week, we talked about whether or not we’d embarrass ourselves in front of Tim and reaffirmed to ourselves that we’d just play it cool (we see how well that plan held up). PRTotallyHeterosexualLittleSister laughed at us but then admitted “Ohmigod, if Nina’s there I may lose it. LOVE HER.” And that’s the thing. Nina is for straight women what Tim is for gay men: someone who’s totally got her shit together, is well-respected, and fabulous to boot.
That isn’t to say that the gays don’t love her too. In our daydreams, Nina greets us the same way she did Iman. “Welcome to the Elle closet!” *airkisses* Oh honey, that’s one closet we’d happily walk into.
Now, when people ask us how they look , we slowly and diplomatically say “There iSS SSomething to be deSSired in the execution,” or “You really thought about it.” If someone we don’t like asks us how they look, we shout “IT’S NOT AESTHETICALLY PLEASING!”
Actually, we don’t wait for people to ask us how they look.